Can you dorm with a friend in college

And on the surface, it sounds like a depressing one. What if instead you were told to change your expectations, and not expect to make friends in your college dorm? There is a great deal of emotional protection when you go into a new situation with lowered expectations. Going into a new situation with very little expectation, or even expecting things to turn out bad or worse than imagined, and then they actually do turn out badly, leaves you no worse for the wear.

You are right were you expected to be. In this wonderful scenario, you feel on top of the world. Simply by changing your expectations, you can experience either a neutral or a positive emotion, and avoid any negative feelings. Dani had to learn this the hard way. But there was another interesting insight revealed from her story. She then took her hands off the wheel.

Placing her faith wrongly on an external factor to improve her social life — the shared living situation — caused her to stop putting effort into meeting new people outside of the dorm, like in classes, the dining hall, at work, or campus events. Often, when we think something wonderful will happen just by the nature of the circumstances, we stop using our own power to make it so.

Luckily, for Dani, we corrected that ship before it veered dangerously off course. And in time, she took back her power to craft her life and make new friends — also returning to the goofy, fun-loving girl I sent off to college in the first place. By the last quarter of sophomore year, she had recovered and racked up a few more, new friends.

And in fact, she then ended up making one friend in the dorm — her RA, who had helped get her through the rough patch. So remember, kids… lower your expectations, and you might be pleasantly surprised! Science even backs me up. Instead, remember that you own the power to get out and find those people you will eventually call your BFFs.

So now I turn it over to you. What would you caution others about? Together, we share our dramatically different college experiences here, in our quest to change the way women college.

Get our beautiful, printable mantra cards. Score useful tips and mini-challenges to rocket-launch your college success! Receive two inspiring art printables as a FREE gift! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

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Share on linkedin. Share on pinterest. Share on email. Shattering the Myth I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Dani tests out the feel of her new room in Hansee Hall at UW. A cozy single dorm room with the comforts of home!

Dani tries on a beanie, while Andrew realizes he's befriended a goofball. Tyler, too, begins to wonder about his new exuberant friend. Surrounded by friends. Like, literally.

And this is where the cautionary tale begins. A Dark Cloud Emerges. Photo by Free-Photos on Pixabay. Months went by and nothing happened. Why it matters In my opinion, this issue that college friends are not so easily made in the dorms is of high concern, but very little awareness.

And it matters a lot. But, sometimes you get lucky…. Moral of the Story So remember, kids… lower your expectations, and you might be pleasantly surprised! Often, this means that you two communicate with each other about your class, work, sleep, and social commitments.

If your roommate acts dangerously or makes you feel unsafe in any way, talk to your RA and the residential life office. Your safety and well-being take precedence over the hassle of finding a new housing situation. RAs only suggest a room change in the most necessary and urgent cases.

These conflicts are messy, and they often involve vandalism, theft, violence, threats, or bullying. A good rule is this: If you feel unsafe, talk to your RA or your residential life office about an immediate room change. If your roommate has become physically, emotionally, or sexually abusive toward you, your situation is urgent.

The residential life office will prioritize your application to change rooms. These situations are usually slow to resolve. Chances are that your RA will first speak to your roommate in private or offer roommate counseling before recommending you for a room transfer. Schools decide on their own policies, so talk to your RA or residential life office to find out how to request a room change. If your housing situation is dangerous, you will be moved immediately.

Otherwise, you may have to attend roommate counseling or meet with an administrator to describe the situation before you will be approved for the switch. Once you receive approval, you may be given several housing options. You may be offered a single for the remainder of the year, or you could be placed into a larger room.

Your school may allow you to meet the current tenants of larger rooms so that you can decide which placement would serve you best. Instead of living with strangers, you can share a house with friends, acquaintances, significant others, or relatives. You might even prefer to find a roommate online who may or may not be a student at your school. Living with someone new, regardless of your previous relationship, is an adjustment. Most students would rather live off campus with other students than with young professionals.

This is because students share similar goals, schedules, and social lives. Living with your best friend is tempting, and many people have great experiences. For others, it ruins the friendship.

Before you decide to live with a close friend, or anybody, consider whether the situation would help or hurt your relationship. Ultimately, the decision is up to you. The novelty of your living situation will start to wear off once homework piles up.

It is not wise to break most leases, as you may be liable for the full amount of unpaid rent and you could lose your security deposit on top of that. Talk to your roommate about what is bothering you and why you want to leave. Some problems can be resolved with a simple conversation. If that fails, read through your lease or ask your landlord for information about subletting or breaking the lease. From there, be honest with your landlord about the situation. If you have found someone else willing to take your spot, tell your landlord.

Chances are that he or she will be willing to print out a new lease for everyone who is staying and can take your name off of it. However, if you feel like your life is in danger or that you are living in an unsafe environment, you should leave immediately and deal with the consequences later. Dealing with Roommates.

Roommates and On-Campus Housing Freshmen may not get a choice when it comes to their first-year roommates. How are roommates chosen? Should I accept a random roommate assignment or request to live with someone I know? What do I need to know? Branch out. College is the best time to make friends.

Personalize your space. Decorate your side of the room. Allow yourself to express who you are and allow your roommate to do the same.

Alone time is never guaranteed. Try to work around his or her schedule. There are a number of cafes and coffee shops on campus where students can use their Thrifty Cash or Marist Money. Students that need a housing accommodation for a medical need must submit the Housing Accommodation Form. Please submit your completed Housing Accommodation Form as soon as possible to the Office of Accommodations and Accessibility.

Each room has a bed, dresser, desk, desk chair, and closet for each student that the room was designed to house. Due to fire safety regulations, extension cords are prohibited and each student is allowed one surge protector only for the use of their computer. What kind of security do the buildings have?

The residence halls are secure twenty-four hours a day. From pm - am there is an entry officer who monitors the main entrance of each building. All students are required to swipe their ID card to prove that they are a resident of that building or they must sign in with the entry officer if visiting a residence hall other than their own. Between am and pm, the doors to the building are locked and students must swipe their ID card to gain access to the building.

In an emergency, Marist Security can always be reached at Applications packets for the Resident Assistant position are available at the beginning of each semester via MyMarist , or in the Office of Housing and Residential Life.

The Academic Calendar contains information pertaining to move in and move out dates, first and last days of classes and other important deadlines. What opportunities for involvement and leadership are available in the residence halls? Positions of leadership are attained through student elections. Meeting times are generally posted in your residence area and the laundry facilities for the upperclassmen.

Where can I find more information about various services such as mail delivery, laundry facilities, parking permits, TV connections, telephones service, and maintenance? I need financial aid to help pay for my residence hall fees. How do I apply? Student Financial Services can provide information on assistance in paying your bill. If you desire to withdraw from campus housing, the Office of Housing and Residential Life provides information on available rental properties.

We'd love to hear from you! We understand that as a first year student you will have many questions. If you are wondering about something that is not on this sheet, please do not hesitate to call us at the Office of Housing and Residential Life at or send us an e-mail at Housing Marist. Frequently Asked Questions Preparing to live on a college campus is a very exciting process, but can also be overwhelming.

When will I find out where I'll live? How do I apply for a special interest floor? Can I request to live with my friend? What should I bring? What size sheets should I bring?